Days 21, 22 and 23 - Mazarife, Astorga and Ponferrada

I think something has gone wrong with my day count, because it's not matching up with the count in my journal... It says today is day 22, not day 23. Hmm. I don't have the time to fix it though, too much bother.

Today we are in Ponferrada, and the albergue finally is heated so that I am not freezing as I have been the last two days in Astorga! It's a bit of a leap, due to all sorts of things happening (well, just one or two things actually) which most of you already know about from the forum or from me telling you. In short - after walking all day in the ever-increasing snow to Astorga, we left the next morning, walked to the next village and were promptly told to go back (to Astorga) by the locals on the street (who were shovelling snow and literaly would not have let us pass) due to the amount of snow (gesturing a meter's depth) on the mountain up at Rabanal del Camino and Foncebadon. So we turned back and stayed another night in Astorga before catching a bus to Ponferrada today, seeing as the snow was still as thick and Ariel was actually feeling rather sick in the stomach and had a bad headache. She's been sleeping since we got to the albergue here - I think she's a bit better now. Tomorrow we will try ad walk to Villafranca del Bierzo and from there to O'Cebreiro and onwards in a few shorter days, following the roads if necessary. We'll see how we go.

This morning was a miserable affair, as I was feelig overwhelmed and upset by having to miss a stage on the Camino, this time not really by choice. Although some other pilgrims pushed on up the mountains in the snow, we chose not to on advice of the locals, which still didn't stop me from feeling like the worst pilgrim wuss in the world this morning, stopped by a bit of snow on the road. A test of the Camino and I had failed to overcome the obstacle for the first time. On top of that, my parcel of clothes went to the post office in Santiago instead of Ivar's Camino center and has now been sent back to Australia after not being collected in 16 days, which means I won't have clothes for a long time, probably not until I'm in Germany in February. As well as no ipod (which I was lookig forward to) and no other shoes and no warm down jacket and no jeans. The same for Ariel. But after talking to my mum and another pilgrim from Belgium (one of the only girl pilgrims I have met so far) I felt a little bit better. And back at the albergue, writing in my journal while Ariel was sleeping, I figured out some more things that made me feel better.

Excerpt from journal:
The marker in the courtyard of the albergue reads Satiago - 202km. I want to walk every one of those 202km now, because after a day of not-walking and those two days in Leon I already crave it and feel like a cheat, a non-pilgrim, without it. Tomorrow I will walk to illafranca del Bierzo, then Vega de Valcarce, then over the mountains through O'Cebreiro. I hope the weather allows it, ad if not I'll simply take the road; after all, I'm bound to get somewhere. The closer I get to Santiago the more I crave the walking, not just to get closer to the end of my camino but for the physical exertion (I feel weak and lethargic on rest days), the exhaustion, the sore feet and the wonderful, wonderful doing of the Camino. It is, after all, the Way.

I believe in the Camino now. I know that it is inside me and that everything is a part of it, the obstacles, the weather, the people, the landscapes, the delirium, the euphoria and the depression. I can understand it now: the bus, the snow, they aren't there for me to question my worth as a pilgrim, but to show me that I am a pilgrim. The snow is not a test of whether or not I can brave the cold and wet and slogging, but whether I can make the decision not to and still be a pilgrim. After all, this is my camino, and every decision I make will be the right one to make. Knowing and realising that makes all the difference.

And on some other news - despite the crappy marks, I still managed to get a ATAR (a percentile rank put together from final exam marks and used as cut-off points for university courses) of 96.15, which, looking back at the marks themselves, I'm rather surprised and quite happy with. It also means I can still get into my Arts/Laws double degree at the University of Queensland (which had a 96 cuttoff). Not quite the 98.95 I dreamt about... but not bad all the same. So yeah. No more having to think about school now!

That's all for today. Going out to the opening of the Christmas markets now, I love that sort of thing! Have to bundle up though... still pretty cold out there.

PS - Rebekah, I think I'll catch a bus and train back to Moratinos on Christmas Eve morning from wherever I am and spend Christmas with you and then go back the next day... Kidding. Would be nice though. Ah well... I'll just have to buy some baklava somewhere along the way.